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When familiar people, places or things are lost or threatened, and when adults are too upset or distracted to notice, children may feel afraid and forgotten.
In crisis and emergency situations, parents may find it difficult to give their children affection and security.
It is normal for children to show stress reactions or problem behaviour after frightening, painful or violent experiences. Some children withdraw; others become more aggressive. Some children appear to be coping well, even though they have not worked through their fears. Children may become 'accustomed' to long-standing violence, but it still hurts them.
If children do not receive help to understand their feelings, they may become more upset.
- Regular routines – going to school and maintaining regular eating and sleeping schedules – give children a sense of security and continuity.
- Enjoyable activities help children deal with stress. Opportunities should be created for organized non-violent play, sports and other forms of recreation, such as safe play areas in refugee camps or settlements, to encourage communication and interaction among peers. Drawing or playing with toys or puppets can help children express their feelings and adjust to stressful experiences. Re-enacting stressful situations through play is extremely common and helpful for very young children. This is the child's way of trying to master the impact of what happened.
- Children should be encouraged to talk about what is troubling them. They should be encouraged to express themselves but they must not be forced. They need to be listened to and to express what they have seen or experienced.
- Children between the ages of three and six years may feel responsible for the problem. These feelings may create a strong sense of guilt. These children need support and attention from a caring adult.
- Children need constant reassurance; they should not be scolded or punished. If a close family member has to be away, the child should be told beforehand. The child should be told where the person is going, when he or she will return and who will be caring for the child during the absence.
- Because adolescents have a clearer understanding of war and other traumatic situations, they are in some ways more vulnerable to stressful experiences than younger children and may feel guilt for not being able to prevent the event. They may appear to be coping, but they lack the emotional maturity to deal with traumatic experiences. Adolescents sometimes become aggressive to cope with feelings of anger and depression. They may rebel against authority, use drugs or steal. Or they may withdraw, become fearful or anticipate bad experiences. Adolescents need the help of adults to work through their experiences. Involving adolescents in the life of the community and giving them a role to play is very beneficial.
- Peers, teachers and community members are an important source of support and security for adolescents, who tend to rely less on their immediate families. Adolescents should be encouraged to talk about their experiences with peers and trusted adults and to participate in healing community activities.
- When children's stress reactions are severe and last for a long time, they need special help from a counsellor.
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